My sister and I, like many gals around America, watched the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix this weekend. (FYI - spoilers ahead folks!) We revisited Stars Hallow, debated how it would end, yelled at the television (okay, that was just me) and convinced my sisters husband to watch the last episode with us (he was dying for the invite).
And when our dear, not so sweet anymore, Rory, ends up pregnant, without a boyfriend or husband, my initial reaction was such disappointment. I could write an entire blog about my love for the fictional character of Jess Mariano and how he and Rory are meant to be, but I'll attempt to stay on track here. What I realized after giving myself some time to digest this surprising news, is that I'm always looking for the happy ending. I'm expecting these fictional characters to struggle through their mess and come out clean on the other side. And subconsciously, I'm expecting them to have a partner waiting on that other side. I'm watching this whole season waiting to find out who she's going to "end up with." And beautifully, she ends up by herself. And I have to say, I'm so happy.
Yes, I'll always be #teamjess, but I'm way more team "you don't need another person to complete you." There is strength in being a woman, and when we give ourselves permission to be alone, whether that is for life or a season, we tap into parts of this strength we never knew existed. When we let ourselves be defined by our qualities and passions, and not another human, we can begin to experience the fullness of who we are.
We get swept up in fictional characters and forget that life is terribly complicated and challenging, and no human alone will fix this. Don't get me wrong; I am incredibly grateful for the people who champion me on a daily basis, who push me to be a better person. If you're in a committed relationship, reach out to your friends who aren't, lend them some support, I guarantee they'll be thankful for the offer and probably the company. I'd be half the woman I am today without my phenomenal community (shout out to my married friends who let me crash their date nights). But what I'm realizing more and more is that being a single gal in her late 20's is a beautiful blessing unto itself.
A partner in this life is a gift, and so is braving the world on your own. The sacredness found in partnership is a wonderful addition to the privilege of living this life, but it's not the end goal. And we are in desperate need of more media that reminds us of this truth. Do not doubt your ability to do big things, new things, even if you feel like you're doing them alone. And if you do get lost along the way, don't fret, I'm sure I'll be a little lost too.